Stories of recovery and hope! Read about how Total Life Change in Fresno, California has been able to positively effect the lives of so many in our community through affordable substance abuse treatment, drug rehab and recovery as well as family resources and tools.
I was in a very dark place, addict husband, and extremely toxic home environment. My children we starting to be effected to the point of wanting to move out. That’s when I started my TLC Crisis Group program. I learned my boundaries and the amazing Karpman triangle. I felt myself getting stronger and stronger in all aspects of my life. I was able to realize my self-worth in all of this. My children are out of that environment, now safe and happy. They have their mom back. I’m am truly thankful for all you. Without this program, I would not be where I am today.
My introduction to Tod Harris and TLC came on the heels of planning an intervention for someone very close to me. You see I wasn’t very religious then and you might even say I had lost my faith. But, and I have never told Tod this...Tod and I had a preliminary meeting before the intervention to discuss the details and such. I felt okay about it, as much as you can when staging an intervention. At the end of our meeting Tod asked me if it was okay to pray before I left. I appreciated that he asked and I hesitantly agreed. BUT unbeknownst to him, it was THIS prayer that would wake me up and change my life. It was a simple prayer, a prayer for the Holy Spirit to give me the courage I needed, to do what I knew had to be done...and I felt it. At that moment I decided to approach everything differently...with courage.
Codependency is insidious. You don’t even see it happening until it’s too late. The habits that co-dependents learn, make it near impossible to fix alone. The best way I can describe it is a 4 lane highway. All of the drivers on the road represent the different people in the world around you. Some headed in a positive direction, some headed in a negative direction. Some drivers RACE to their final destination, without ever slowing down to take in the beauty of the journey. Some go SO SLOW you want to rip your hair out! Others are reckless and constantly getting into accidents. THIS is where I come in, the co-dependent. I’m the car that stops to help that same reckless driver. In my attempt to help the same car over and over again, I didn’t even bother to check my fuel light. So while the reckless car has no problem accepting my help and gets right back on the road unscathed...I am stalled in the emergency lane with no fuel and nothing left to give.
This is co-dependency. Constantly helping someone or many someone’s that leave you so drained, you forget about your self.
Luckily, for those of us who may be stalled on the side of the road, there is hope. Like a tiny little tow-truck, glimmering in the distance, people like Tod Harris and Doug Davidian come along. The support group offered by TLC has helped me grow in tremendous ways. It is my hope that the lessons I have learned in the Wednesday night meetings will ensure that I will never stall again. But if I do, I am so happy that there are resources available to get me back on track and give me the courage I need to succeed. This amazing group is made possible by the TLC staff and generous community donors, so I sincerely thank you each and every one of you.
Codependency Family Group
Before I came to TLC my life was a mess. It was truly unmanageable. My relationships, my bills and my addiction were out of control. Everything in my life was focused on how much I had, how to get it, and if I had enough. I used to live and lived to use. I thought I would live this way for the rest of my life. And I was OK with that. I had a very little understanding of God and was resentful of him.
I had my first drink at 12 years old and a joint at 13. At first, it was to be cool and accepted by friends. I felt I was missing something in my life and I thought I had found it in drugs and alcohol. I was in full-blown addiction at 16. My addiction grew to using cocaine, meth and anything else I could get. I was kicked out of both my parents homes, I dropped out of high school, and all my relationships were a wreck. I tried moving out of town, only to find that my problems followed me. I continued on this destructive path until I was 23. I met my wife and began using less but I was still smoking weed and drinking heavily. I knew our relationship could not last if I didn't stop. I continued that lifestyle for the next 11 years and through the birth of my three daughters.
Things became progressively worse. I would black out and wake-up with bruises...having no idea where they came from. December 13, 2020 I got wasted and my wife kicked me out. The next day my stepmom told me about a man named Tod. I had a meeting available with him and set for me if I wanted to go. She also told me to go and not have any expectations. I spoke with Tod and talked about my usage and the events going on in my life and he responded, “ Oh yeah, you’re an alcoholic.” I already knew this and still wasn’t sure if I wanted to change. Tod told me about the program and about the group. I left the meeting with Tod and thought I’ll just get one last tall-can to keep from getting sick but my brother talked me out of it. I began to detox and returned on a Thursday to review with Tod the TLC program with no real intention to start until Monday. Tod said there was a group meeting later that evening and I joined that night. The group showed me love, understanding, and acceptance. The text thread the group had and their support got me through that first weekend. I attended my first AA meeting on Christmas morning with members of the group.
In the weeks to come I attended every group meeting without fail and spoke very little. As time went on I began to participate more and saw some make it and others not. The ones that did gave me inspiration to keep continuing and the ones that didn’t were a reminder to put even more work in. As a result of TLC I have been able to clearly convey my thoughts and my emotions to others. My relationships grew in a positive way that I never knew possible. Prior to TLC I had attempted to abstain unsuccessfully and tried recovery through other fellowships. I had given up. TLC offered me something I could never walk away from. God put me in the right place at the right time and with the right people. I currently have 261 days clean and sober. I learned to use tools that I got from the program. I’m able to pick up the phone for help. Make calls to get me through the tough times. I’m also able to put myself in another person’s shoes and see their view. I have a purpose today. To help people on some level, who felt the same way I did...hopeless. I’m truly grateful for Total Life Change.
Intensive Outpatient Treatment